Author:  Maria Alfano

Hot, steamy sex and passion are the last thing on your mind after a long day. Come on ladies, this isn’t who you are or what you want. Sex and passion are two the top reasons you are in this relationship, to begin with. After age 50 that doesn’t go away.

Menopause did not turn off the switch to your sex life, you did. Let’s turn it back on!

Let’s get candid😊 Sex and passion in a relationship are not just a duty but they are essential for any healthy marriage or partnership.  Without intimacy, you are living with a roommate. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to be cooking for, cleaning up after, doing laundry for, and sleeping in the same bed as my roommate.  So, why are you?

This post is all about the reasons why people in long-term committed relationships have a lack of sex, describe the elements of passion, and provide 13 amazing ways to put the spark back into your marriage/partnership.  You picked this person for a reason.  Put that reason first again!

13 Ways To Have Great, Steamy, Hot Sex And Passion In Your Relationship After 50+

You are never too old for sex and passion.  As long as you can move and are alive and breathing, there is no reason why you should not enjoy being intimate with your partner.  Way too many relationships split up because sexual pleasure is missing.  You don’t need to be a statistic.  Take matters into your own hands and rekindle the romance.

WHY No Sex

You can’t have amazing sex and passion until you understand where things broke down in the first place.  Women especially go through many physical and emotional changes over the years and these can put a strain on the sex life.

INHIBITIONS – childbirth and menopause play a huge role in a woman’s mindset, creating inhibitions that were not there in her early twenties.  Having a child transforms the female body and some women never get back their pre-pregnancy bodies.  Menopause also impacts the female body due to hormonal imbalances.  Many women stop feeling beautiful and desirable.

BOREDOM – sex becomes routine.  It’s no longer exciting because it’s the same thing over and over with little change or anticipation.  You know exactly what will happen each time right down to the day of the week.

PRIORITY – when you were dating your partner was your priority.  You would think about them all day and look forward to making the time you spent with them special.  Fast forward to today and other things are more important – the job, the children, the bills.  Everything else is more important than intimacy with your husband.

CHILDREN – the fear of having a young child walk in while you’re in the middle of doing the “deed”, or having your teenage kids hear what is happening down the hall, is a mood buster.

TOO TIRED – life gets in the way and by the end of the day, all your energy is drained.  The only thing you want to do when your head hits the pillow is sleep.

Passion

Passion comes in three stages.  Each of these three stages is intertwined with the other to create an explosive experience.

INTIMACY – this doesn’t mean the sexual act all the time.  Build up to the final performance starting with smaller physical touches.  Give long hugs, pressing your body into your partner’s just enough to provide a promise of what is to come.  Lightly run your fingers over those places on their bodies that you know are the trigger points for them.  Have some fun and smack them lightly on the butt as you pass by them.  The unexpected gestures will have them thinking about the possibilities, especially if you haven’t done this before…

ANTICIPATION – keep building on the expectations for the upcoming event with flirtatious comments whispered in their ears.  Send them a suggestive text message.  Text them a picture of what you want to wear to bed tonight.  Sexy lingerie will get their brains working in overdrive.

SENSUALITY – envision what will happen when you finally get to the promised land.  Picture every movement, every feeling, how you want to be taken care of, and how you will take care of your partner.  Play this on repeat in your head as you go through the day building the anticipation.

Put Sex And Passion Back Into Your Relationship

These 13 ways to have great, steamy, hot sex and passion in your relationship after 50+ are explicit and a lot of fun.  You may find it difficult to adapt them all at one time.  Start with the one you are most comfortable with and work your way up from there.  Add a new one as you become more comfortable with yourself and your partner in the bedroom.

Start The Ball Rolling

1 – COOK – a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  Yup, it’s true.  Cook him his favorite meal and he will be putty in your hands.  I don’t know about you but watching my man’s face light up and the smile flash as bright as day turns me on.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and ready for anything.  This goes both ways.  When he makes me a meal I thoroughly enjoy, I want to repay him with a night full of ecstasy.  Preparing a meal together can also be quite invigorating and is an awesome form of flirting.  Imagine doing this with nothing but an apron on!

2 – BRAIN POWER   The brain is a powerful thing.  Men lead with their lower brains.  Women lead with their actual brains.  To properly arouse a woman, the wham-bam approach may work once in a while, not all the time.  Create a story in her brain so that she can picture the event.  Make her feel desirable and wanted.  Give her every reason why tonight will be special.  She will be like putty in your hands.  And. the lower brain will thank you!

3 – FLIRTING –  comes in so many shapes and sizes.  Be subtle with a gentle touch.  Kiss them behind the ear or a deep breath in and exhale slowly at the nape of their neck.  Be forward with a whisper telling them you want to be taken advantage of.

OPEN COMMUNICATION

4 – TALK – open communication with flirty, fun banter between the two of you adds to the anticipation.  Pick a word that you both recognize as your sexy time word.  Whisper it to each other when you are alone and when you think no one is watching.  Make it your prompt that starts the sex and passion process.  Imagine using the phrase “apple pie” as your sexy word and picture the whipped cream on top, the delicious nectar rolls over your tongue, melting into you as the final explosion of whipped cream become orgasmic.  You get the picture.  We may not all have a red room to retreat to physically but you can definitely prepare one in your mind.

5 – ROLE PLAY – start with small talk when you’re out somewhere in a public space.  Flirt.  Ask them if they are involved with anyone.  Find out what it would take for them to come home with you.  Say it loud enough so that people within earshot can hear your proposition.  Or, get dressed up in their greatest fantasy.  Is your partner into wearing handcuffs or being tied to the bed?  Do it, Show them you can be that person to fulfill their every wish.

Anticipation

6 – THE MOOD – set the mood in your private space with scented candles, satin sheets, and dim lighting.  This not only helps with the mood but relieves some of the body image inhibitions mentioned above.  In low shimmering light, everyone looks better.  Shadows cast on your bodies give you sensual touchpoints to enrich the sex and passion for the moment.

7 – ALONE TIME – carve out some time for the two of you.  Whether it is your morning shower together, a surprise afternoon delight at the nearest hotel, or a good bang in the backseat of the car locked in your garage.  Pick a time for sex and passion and make it happen.  You will be surprised how good things will become between the two of you.  Sex doesn’t always have to happen at night and definitely not always in the bedroom.  Make it a priority to try every room inside the house or outside.

8 – LINGERIE – wearing that old ratty t-shirt to bed is a buzz kill and will not excite your partner.  Dust off that sexy little number hiding in the back of the closet and put it on for those special occasions.  What??  You don’t have any sexy lingerie?  That’s awesome.  Take your partner shopping with you and create the anticipation by picking out a piece or two that you both can’t wait to take for a spin.

SHOW & TELL

9 – MOOD KILLERS – get rid of any distractions that prevent you from being focused on the act of making love to your partner.  Keep the cell phone in another room.  Lock the door to prevent any intruders.  For me, it’s the alarm clock.  I turn it around so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at the clock, worrying about what time it is, and the need to get up early in the morning.

10 – NAKED – slip into bed in your birthday suit when they least expect it.  Nothing says ‘have your way with me’ more than a naked, vulnerable, and willing body.  Take that aching body and do with it things you stopped doing a long time ago.  Or, try something new for both of you.  Don’t ignore it.  The message is clear – I want what you got.

11 – WHAT YOU WANT – show your partner what you want.  For some women, self-pleasure is considered a no-no.  The heck with that!  If you can’t help yourself, how can you expect your partner to help you have an orgasm?  Practice first.  Start with your imagination and what you want to happen to you.  Picture where you want to be taken, be it on the grand staircase of the luxury hotel, or in an open field, create that image.  Know where you want to be touched – explore areas of your body that were previously off-limits.  Sex and passion do not belong strictly to the penis and vagina.  Your body is so much more than that!  Once you are an expert on what you need, show your partner what, how, and where you need to be touched.

THE “Deed”

12 – TOUCH – sex is not just the act of screwing your partner.  It is all about the foreplay.  Give your partner a massage with essential oils.  Touch them everywhere first.  Build the anticipation of what is to come.  A feather or soft hanky passed lightly over their erogenous zones will edge them closer to climax and extend the lovemaking beyond the two or three-minute average.

13 – EXPERIMENT – sex and passion that is routine and boring quickly become a chore and another thing on your to-do list.  Spice things up with different positions.  Missionary is not the only way to perform the act.  While you may not be as limber in your 50s as you were in your 20s, that doesn’t mean you are stuck getting laid in only one old-fashioned way.  Of course, there are the other standby ways like doggy style, the 69, and the woman on top.  Try some of these positions in addition.

SEXY Positions

Butterfly – have your woman lay as close to the edge of the bed as possible.  Lift her legs in the air and wrap them around your neck.  Penetrate her as vigorously or gently as she wants it.  The closer she gets to the finish line the more your pattern will change.  She will tell you how she wants it with her actions and her moans.  Listen carefully for those clues.

Sit – Tie your partner to the bed.  Sit on their face and have them perform oral sex on you while you gyrate on their face.  Don’t be afraid to ask them for what you want – a bite, a tug, a twist of the clitoris can bring wild orgasms.  and, they will love the sweet juice.

Wheel Barrow – face down on the bed with your butt as high up in the air as possible while your partner penetrates from behind.  You have two options for penetration when in this position.  You chose the one that suits you best.  Don’t count either out without trying them both our first.  Rear door entry is not voodoo.  It’s very satisfying to many women.

Dual Entry – bring your greatest fantasy to life with dual entry.  A third party is not required, although if you’re into that, more power to you.  Your dildo will gladly play the role of the third person in bed.  Your partner will not be able to contain himself and you will both experience the best “O” of your life.

Want More!

Woman On Top – with the man handcuffed lying face-up on the bed and his woman sitting on top facing away from him.  She manipulates the situation.  Moving up and down and around on his penis with sensual movements.

The Grind – most women are aroused by clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration.  Grind yourself on your partner’s leg until the clit swells with arousal then have your partner finish the job with his hands, feet, or penis.

Snake – both partners lay flat on the bed face-down.  The woman squeezes her legs tightly together.  Give him double the pleasure from the legs pressed together and the warmth of the vaginal nirvana.

Other posts you might enjoy:

• 27 Inexpensive Ideas For A Couples Really Romantic Date Night At Home You Need To Try Today
• Life Can Be Great Again After Menopause And Sexless Marriage With These Tips That Have Your Partner Begging For More

This post was all about sex and passion in your 50s and beyond, the passion killers, and 13 ways to bring the heat back into your bedroom.