Author: Annabelle Harris
Reviewed By: Maria Alfano
Helping your aging parents is no easy feat. No two people age at the same rate. You may reach a point when you have one parent who needs assisted living care while the other is still able to live on their own. It can be a bit tricky to navigate this dynamic. A compassionate and caring approach can help ensure both of your parents get the type of care and living environment they need. The Silver Diaries can be a wealth of information when it comes to making these types of tough midlife decisions.
It can be difficult to determine when an elderly loved one needs skilled nursing care. Typically, if they reach a point where they are unable to perform the activities of daily living, such as attention to personal hygiene, navigating the home safely, and being able to care for themselves in terms of preparing meals and taking necessary medication consistently, it may be time. While your other parent may wish to keep their spouse in the home with them, they may reach a point when that’s no longer possible, even with the help of in-home nursing. This is especially prevalent in dementia patients who need a great deal of specialized care. Connect with your parent’s primary care provider to discuss their unique needs.
How To Help Aging Parents With Transitional Moves
Written by: Annabelle Harris
Taking Them In
Many adult children feel compelled to move their parents into their own homes when it becomes clear they can no longer safely live on their own. While this may be the best option in some circumstances, it can become trickier if you still have children at home, travel frequently, or if your parents have specialized needs. If you do try to go this route, make sure you access all of the resources that are available to you to help aid the process. There are many different local, state, and federal resources available to those who qualify.
Tiered Facilities
There are a growing number of assisted-living facilities that offer a tiered option for couples. In this case, if you have one parent who needs a greater degree of care while the other is still capable of independent living, they can both live in the same facility, with one having more independence and the other getting more hands-on care. While this can be pricey, it allows couples to stay together, and you can rest assured knowing they will be able to access increasing degrees of care as each warrant. If you’re interested in this type of option, tour facilities that provide a tiered living environment to get a feel for amenities and price. According to Caring.com, you’ll want to ask about staff-to-resident ratios, the type of care provided, activities, and access.
Downsizing Mom and Dad
Whether your parents stay together or live separately, it typically means that downsizing is in the picture. Even if you’re moving one parent into assisted living while the other goes into a smaller, easier-to-manage residence, you may have to sell the family home to fund the next phase of life. This may also be a necessity in terms of paying for ongoing long-term care, and/or purchasing a smaller home. If your parent’s home is in need of repairs, but you don’t have the time or money to make upgrades, you can still sell the property “as is” as a fixer-upper. You’ll want to highlight all of its best features in this scenario, particularly its location, size, and unique layout. It is important to disclose to buyers any deficiencies to avoid facing future legal claims.
Find the Right Movers
When you’re moving your parents out of one home, it’s incredibly helpful to utilize a full-service moving company. Senior moving companies will come in and pack all of your parent’s belongings, transport them to one or more locations, and unpack as well. While moving companies that specialize in senior moves can be a bit pricier than traditional movers, they help ensure your elderly parents get the help they need. Look for top-rated local movers by searching, “professional movers near me” and then reading online reviews. You want someone who is licensed, bonded, and insured, and always make sure you get a quote in writing.
Paying for Senior Living
There are a number of different ways to pay for senior living. According to Paying For Senior Care, you may be able to tap Medicaid, Medicare, or long-term care insurance. Your parents may also have savings, and of course, liquidating the family home can serve as the basis for the financial means often necessary for downsizing and moving into assisted living. Most facilities employ social workers that can help you navigate some of your financial questions and help you devise the best solution for your needs and your parent’s needs. Various types of financing are often available.
Stay Compassionate
When parents need to downsize, particularly if one needs to go into assisted living while the other lives independently, it’s absolutely essential that you approach the entire situation from a place of loving care and compassion. Listen to your parent’s concerns. Involve them in the decision-making process to the extent possible. And, recognize that this is a difficult time for them. Moving from the family home often marks the end of independence. There could be a great deal of anxiety around separation. If possible, stay in touch with your parent’s primary care providers to ensure they’re being screened for anxiety and depression as they move into this next phase of life.
Helping your parents make transitions later in life can be challenging. If at all possible, discuss transitional living with them before the need arises. Once it becomes clear that your folks need a greater degree of care, emphasize the positives. Listen to their worries. And, make the best possible decisions that meet everyone’s needs.
In Summary
When it comes to managing the stressors that come with midlife and aging parents, you have a lot to consider. The decisions are made lightly, nor do they come easily. Take your time to explore the option that is best for your loved ones.
We would love to hear from you. Was this article helpful? What decisions were you faced with when it came to your aging parents that might be helpful to our readers?
A special thank you to Ms. Annabelle Harris for her brilliant insight on this topic and for writing this post.