Author: Maria Alfano
Men peak at 20 and women peak in their 40s, then menopause and sexless marriage become the new reality. Women become self-conscious of the changes in their bodies. They stop feeling sexy and desirable. Menopause can play tricks with our minds and has us believing we are less than because of this change.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Your partner has grown with you and loves you no matter what. Give these tested and proven ways that will leave your partner wanting and begging for more a try today!
For years I suffered in silence wondering what happened to those glorious days of enjoying my husband at any time of the day or night. Suddenly all that fire and drive was gone, replaced by menopause and sexless marriage.
I searched high and low and found these awesome tips that turned everything around for our relationship. Now, we no longer have a sexless relationship. We have a new spark and it has brought us closer together. The renewed passion has made our relationship stronger than ever. Watch your relationship transform before your very eyes as you abolish the menopause and sexless marriage phase (that can last up to 5 years in some cases) you are currently experiencing.
Here’s to the strategies that will improve your sex drive, encourage great midlife sex with your partner, and leave you wanting more, finally proving you are never too old for sex!
Life Can Be Great Again After Menopause and Sexless Marriage With These Tips That Will Have Your Partner Begging For More
4 Stages of Sex
DESIRE – that longing for affection, love, and to be touched by your partner. It is the anticipation of what has been in the past and what could be coming tonight. Often in long-term relationships, partners become complacent. The thrill of the hunt and the excitement of the catch fade away. Bring it back with simple acts of kindness and love. Give your partner an unexpected massage. Run a relaxing bath for them. Pat their backside as you brush past them. Whisper sweet things in their ear.
AROUSAL – the foreplay, the build-up from knowing there will be that magical fire between you two. Women are aroused through their minds and imagination first. If they can picture what is to come, they will be aching with expectation for the final moment of intimacy. Tell your woman she is beautiful. Describe to her how she makes you feel when you see her. Allow her imagination to go wild with the promises of what you hope to do to her. She will be putty in your hands.
ORGASM – the ultimate climax from the culmination of desire, arousal, and your partner’s ability to know just what you want. Growing together as a couple includes the ability to understand your partner’s sexual needs and explore together those fantasies that lead to the ultimate prize of orgasm. Pay attention to the signs your partner is giving you. When you focus on each other’s pleasure yours becomes that much more intense. Remember this…most women do not reach orgasm with penetration. It results from clitoral stimulation. So, it is very important not to neglect that very important female sex organ.
RESOLUTION – the after play, the cuddling, the final enjoyment of the pleasurable act that lulls you into a quiet slumber. You cannot leave the job unfinished. Take the time to enjoy the afterglow. Just because the orgasm has been reached, that doesn’t mean it’s all over. What you do after pleasure sets the tone for the next intimate escapade.
Biological issues
We can’t talk about a sexless relationship without understanding how menopause played a part in this.
The more common changes that happen to the female body as it approaches, experiences, and moves beyond menopause are:
Vaginal dryness – the lack of estrogen that keeps the vagina moist and lubricated during childbearing years, rapidly decreases during menopause. With that protection gone the skin dries up.
Vaginal itching and burning – this accompanies vaginal dryness and can make it very uncomfortable for menopausal women to enjoy sexual intercourse.
Hormone imbalances – estrogen and progesterone levels decline very quickly when a woman reaches menopause. These imbalances lead to uncommon mood swings, hot flashes, and weight gain. All these symptoms contribute to the desire or lack of desire for sexual intimacy.
Painful sex – comes from vaginal atrophy which is a direct result of the hormone imbalance that causes vaginal dryness. With pain comes the decline in both interest and the act of making love to your partner.
Poor self-image – the most devastating to many women. Menopause is seen to be the beginning of the end. Life as we knew it is gone and we are heading down the other side of the proverbial hill. It is common for women to go into depression because of the changes in their bodies and hormones. This is the time she needs you most to show her just how much you still want and need her physically and emotionally.
Effects of Menopause on your Sex Life
Many women feel free and their sex drive goes through the roof. They love the fact there is no longer a fear of unwanted pregnancies. Because no time of the month is off limits and there no longer is menstruation to contend with, they tend to want more sex. There is nothing more liberating than knowing you are not restricted to making love at given times of the month. And, without consequences.
Other women experience the exact opposite. They have low libido due to low estrogen levels. They have less vaginal lubrication which results in painful intercourse. Overall, their menopause and sexless marriage become a reality. It is difficult to imagine enjoying a passionate session of hot, steamy sex with your partner when the pain from penetration is prevalent each time you try.
Treatments
There are many great hormone replacement therapy drugs on the market that will help temporarily alleviate the symptoms of menopause. You can also try the female version of Viagra to bring increased blood flow to the clitoris.
Temporary lubricants may help. You can buy temporary lubricants on Amazon, Walmart, Target, or your local pharmacy. You are not alone. These have helped me through some rough spots by providing the much need moisture during sex that my body stopped producing after menopause.
Simple Strategies
TALK & LISTEN – As simple and archaic as this may sound, a woman’s needs change as a result of menopause, and what worked in the past may no longer work today. Partners really listen to your woman. She will tell you what she wants and delivering it to her will get you a lot more of what you want in return. So, remember to tell her she is beautiful to you even after all these years.
INTIMACY – Wham bam thank you ma’am may have worked in your twenties but this is no way to take care of a mature woman in her midlife. She needs to feel important, appreciated, and loved. A little cuddling, caressing, sweet whispers will arouse her much more than a quickie ever will. Take the time to enjoy being with her and she will gladly reciprocate the experience!
PRIORITIZE – The stresses of everyday life can get in the way of the important parts of any relationship. This will contribute to the effects of menopause and sexless marriage. Make sex a priority in your relationship. Schedule it in your calendar so that you know how to get ready for Thursday night’s love-making session.
Other Remedies
NEW POSITIONS – Not only will a new position be exciting, but it can also help reduce the pain. There are so many more positions than just the missionary position. Try any one of the positions that come to mind, or make up your own. Give your position a secret code name and whisper it in your lady’s ear when you want to arouse her and prepare her for the adventure to come.
TOYS – Don’t be shy to introduce role-play or adult toys into your relationship. There is no stigma associated with pleasuring your partner or bringing some excitement to the relationship. Start with something small and discreet and work your way up to whatever you can both handle together. Get kinky!
Use adult toys to peak interest and anticipation. Some multi-function vibrators can produce a different experience each time. Not knowing who will show up in the bedroom is half the thrill. The other half is knowing just the right way to use them with your partner.
Experimentation and understanding what works best will leave her spent and dreaming of the next time!!
REPEAT – The vagina is like any other muscle in a woman’s body. The more it is exercised the better it performs. The more you pleasure your woman, the more blood flows to the clitoris, the more intense her orgasms. Give her that and the world is your oyster. There isn’t much she won’t do for you in return (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
Ladies, read this post together with your partner. Sometimes, they need a little push in the right direction. Help them to know what it is that you want and how far you are willing to go to get the best results for both of you thus ending the sad effects of menopause and sexless marriage syndrome.
In Summary
This post was all about strategies that will improve your sex drive, encourage great midlife sex with your partner, leave you wanting more, and prove you are never too old for sex! Intimacy is very important for the survival of your marriage but that comes in many forms. Avoid those feelings of deep depression in men or the loneliness and neglect in women by sharing intimacy on a regular basis.